There was a point when Lindsay Lohan was the next “Big Thing (TM)” in Hollywood, back around the time that the actress was starring in family comedies like Herbie: Fully Loaded and Freaky Friday. She went on to make a genuinely smart, interesting– and, most importantly– funny
comedy with Mean Girls (which, let’s face it, may have had a lot more to do with Tina Fey’s awesome script than Lohan’s involvement). Now that the former Disney princess is behind bars, it’s time for her to start thinking about her next project. Specificially, it’s time for her to start cashing in on her newfound infamy. You know what’s really good for that kinda work? Full-frontal nudity. Yes, after years of speculation, Inferno will be the first film Lindsay Lohan fully disrobes in. More details are below, my gentle Examiner readers…
Lindsay Lohan’s probably going to serve a fraction of her jail sentence, so we shouldn’t be surprised if she checks out of the Lynwood jail she’s currently imprisoned in before the end of next week. There are a great many people who believe that getting sent to jail might just be the best thing to happen to Lohan in a long time: for one thing, it keeps her away from booze and pills (kind of like a “Hollywood time-out”), but–perhaps more importantly– it’s made her even more popular, and a recent announcement made by the filmmakers currently in pre-production on Lohan’s next film, Inferno, indicates that she’s about to be more popular than ever:
There will be full frontal nudity,” director Matthew Wilder exclusively told RadarOnline.com of Lohan’s role in (Inferno). “But it will not be cinematic nudity – it will be more violent nudity. For example, linked images of the Vietnam war – that kind of context.”
Yes, Lohan’s next role will be as the lead in Inferno, biopic about the life of Linda Lovelace, the equally-infamous (scratch that: far more infamous) porn star who made a name for herself in films like Deep Throat back in the 70′s. Hollywood’s been keen to get a Lovelace biopic off the ground for some time, and matching Lohan with the material is an admittedly clever move. But ever since Lohan’s role in the film was announced, people have been wondering if she’d be going “the full monty” for her scenes. Now we know. But don’t worry: it’s going to be classy.
It’s not a porn movie, it’s an artistic movie about a porn star,” Wilder told RadarOnline.com. “We will not see Lindsay performing oral sex, but there could be some clever play with black boxes or other cinematic tricks that the viewer may see.”
Yeah, this is going to end up drawing some attention to Inferno.
There was a time when the idea of Lindsay Lohan appearing fully nude in a film would have been a cause for celebration. Back around the time that Lohan made Mean Girls, she was generally considered one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood. But in the years since, Lohan has allowed booze, pills, and whatever else she’s plugged into her body kinda wreck that once-attractive facade, and many have characterized her recent appearance as unhealthy-looking (to say the least).
Perhaps she can restore things to their original glory before shooting on Inferno begins. Speaking of which, Wilder plans on shooting Inferno as soon as Lohan gets out of prison: Not only will the film benefit from being Lohan’s first project post-jail, but it’ll be a magnet for those who have always been curious to see Lohan naked. Whether or not the film will be any good is another matter entirely, of course. Wilder may have hit the jackpot with this one.
UPDATE: Apparently, director Matthew Wilder is keeping constant tabs on Lohan’s release date. As we speculated earlier today, he’s made it clear that he intends to shoot Inferno the moment that Lohan’s no longer behind bars, but despite some reports claiming that Lohan may be released as soon as next week due to prison overcrowding, Wilder had this to say:
I didn’t speak to Lindsay over the weekend, but my lawyer told me she could be inside [jail] for as long as a month,” Wilder said regarding Lohan’s sentence. “Everybody is hoping she will be released sooner than that.”
Stay tuned for more on this one as it becomes available, my precious snowflakes. If you’ve got something you want to add to this conversation, don’t hesitate to speak your mind in the comments section below. If that’s not your thing, hit the “Susbcribe” button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, the moment they’re published. We’ve got all manner of productivity-killing nonsense to keep you non-busy at work during the week, so sign up today. Just look at all the fun you’ve been missing lately:
UPDATED WITH VIDEO: LINDSAY LOHAN GETS CONFETTI THROWN ON HER WHILE ON HER WAY TO JAIL (WITH VIDEO)– in which we look at video footage of Lindsay Lohan getting a big-ass handful of confetti thrown on her as she enters the court to be shipped off to jail. It’s pretty much the most satisfying thing that you’re going to see all week.
DID MEL GIBSON REALLY SAY “I WANT JEW BLOOD ON MY HANDS”? NEW REPORTS SUGGEST HIS EX MIGHT BE LYING– in which we examine the news that Mel Gibson’s getting all murder-y now, and whether or not his ex is just making stuff up at this point. Whichever side of the argument you’re on, ya gotta realize that Mel’s gone off the deep end.
FUNNY VIDEO: WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH PROTESTS COMIC-CON, BUT COMIC-CON PROTESTS BACK (WITH VIDEO)– in which the Westboro Baptist Church chooses the wrong damn crowd to practice their particular brand of lunacy on: Star Trek geeks and comic book nerds. The results will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
VIDEO: THE NEW, NOT-SAFE-FOR-WORK RED-BAND TRAILER FOR “MACHETE” MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST THING YOU’LL SEE ALL DAY– in which Robert Rodriguez releases a new trailer for Machete, and it’s so over the top, you’ll have a hard time not laughing at it. That said, don’t go watching this clip at work unless you wanna get fired.
